Thursday, September 9, 2010


This is only one of several versions in which I have depicted Naomi two years before her untimely death.  The angel who is Naomi, is holding a cup which is bitter and sweet, as was her life and all our lives. The golden clasp on the high collar of her cape is a Sufi heart which could also represent the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The purple cape is because through the Von Vacani, de Latorre, Suarez, and Infanzones line she was a  noble and aristocrat in her maternal bloodlines. The  royal blue wings signify that she is One with the Archangel Raphael who is holder of the healing powers more than any other. Both the turquoise blue and the emerald green gown underneath mean Hildegarde von Bingen's  TERRA VIRIDISSIMA. VERGINE MARIA VIRIDISSIMA. Green Earth and Our Blessed Lady of Green , Protector of the Environment.
Naomi was diagnosed by countless doctors, each simply following/parroting the previous diagnoses as a "Manic Depressive" or to use the euphemism today - Bi-Polar.

 I do not believe she was so. Despite spending half her life in and out of these borderline snake pits in the United States. Reason? She wanted to change her medication, from the toxic Lithium, Trileptol, and other venomous stuff. She was the only one I know, and I have known and know hundreds afflicted with bi-polarity who spent so much time in these ungodly and cruel places. 

To me and many SPIRITUAL people, mind you I stress the word SPIRITUAL and not RELIGIOUS, she was a MAST. I will continue to say and think that. My family and clan, those who are spiritual believe this to be true.

What is a MAST?  According to Hindu, Buddhist and Ancient Catholics teachings, a MAST is an angel on earth who for reasons known only to God takes on a physical aspect. BECAUSE THEY ARE IN A HIGHER PLANE THAT THE REST OF US, many things they would do, like Naomi drawing an angel on a sidewalk in Grand Ledge Michigan would be considered by lesser, inferior and  not at all spiritual beings as "mad" or "crazy"  and they would call the Police. Such people have no hearts and no souls. They are what i have coined "church going automatons, and "robotic reciters of prayers." Her father and sisters who have loved her without a doubt on this lesser, physical plane did not understand this and thought that by calling the Police and "convincing" Naomi to sign papers so that she could be"properly treated"  she could be stabilized. But she was never stabilized in a few days as the laws require in America and in Europe. 

She would be locked in there for months on end. There were times when I had to appeal to Higher authorities in Washington to even find out where she was being held.
I am glad that she listened to me when I implored her to NEVER, NEVER, NEVER name a guardian. She would have exposed  herself to all kinds of reprehensible and evil things.

On the day she had the aneurysm which caused her to drop her body, I received a Phoenix heart from our Angel Naomi. The truth is that in our  technological age, you can say "God Damn" "Fuck" and so on BUT  the word JESUS and GOD is anathema. Christmas is an abomination. Happy Holidays are in.
This Phoenix heart is more properly called a Sufi heart . It also resembles the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The heart blazes with the love for the Beloved (GOD) the golden wings on each side of the scarlet heart mean they are taking fight. I interpreted that to mean she was leaving (dying in one plane) .

As far as I know, she only sent one -  to me, "I am leaving you Mother," she said.

The Phoenix reposing on top of the heart signified that she would rise from the ashes because the soul is eternal and because she was giving life to at least 6 or 7  people through the donation of her major organs.

On the day she was declared brain dead,  I meditated and recited the Pater Noster and Ave Maria of Hildegarde von Bingen whom she loved as much as the Virgin Mary. As I sat and prayed in silence with my eyes closed, I saw a child dressed in an exquisite yellow dress I had designed for her when she was a year old, wearing the Cross I designed for her, encrusted with real pearls from Bahrain (a gift from my best friend Merlina) over her neck. Both her eyes and her dimples shone. The image lasted but a few seconds. Enough to tell me that she was happy at last and not to grieve for her too much.

A dearly loved Muslim friend, writer  and intellectual wrote me the following which I have translated into English." A Mother's feet touches Paradise. When a child dies (infant, child, young or even mature) it becomes one of the vast army of angels guarding the portals of Paradise. The child born of her womb in Paradise, intercedes to God who, in His benevolence erases  ALL her sins which she has committed on Earth."

That is what The Holy Quran says. 

This means that in front of GOD and of all Mortals, THERE IS NO GREATER DOULEUR / PAIN THAN THE LOSS OF A CHILD.

To lose a Father, Mother, Husband, Sister and Brother is not the same as the immense, terrible and irreparable absence of one's child until we met again on the divine plane or in another dimension.

Maria Isabel Suarez vonVacani von Fechtmann