Friday, March 4, 2011

Naomi's First Birthday


Thursday, October 7, 2010

7th October- Naomi's Birthday and Feast of our Lady of the Rosary

Our Lady of the Rosary (also Our Lady of the Holy Rosary or Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary) is a title of the Blessed Virgin Mary in relation to the method of prayer known as the rosary, whose origin has been attributed to a Marian apparition to Saint Dominic in 1208 in the church of Prouille.

In 1571 Pope Pius V instituted "Our Lady of Victory" as an annual feast to commemorate the victory of Lepanto. The victory was attributed to the Blessed Virgin Mary, as a rosary procession had been offered on that day in St. Peter's Square in Rome for the success of the mission of the Holy League to hold back Muslim forces from overrunning Western Europe. In 1573,Pope Gregory XIII changed the title of this feast-day to "Feast of the Holy Rosary". This feast was extended by Pope Clement XII to the whole of the Latin Rite, inserting it into the Roman Catholic calendar of saints in 1716, and assigning it to the first Sunday in October. Pope Pius X changed the date to 7 October in 1913, as part of his effort to restore celebration of the liturgy of the Sundays. In 1969, Pope Paul VI changed the name of the feast to "Our Lady of the Rosary".

Prior to the battle of Lepanto, in thanks for the victory of the Battle of MuretSimon de Montfort, 5th Earl of Leicester built the first shrine dedicated to Our Lady of Victory.

Our Lady of the Rosary is the patron saint of several places around the world and MarĂ­a del Rosario is a common femaleSpanish name (colloquially abbreviated to Rosario or Charo). Rosario can also be used as a male first name, particularly in Italian.



And so our lovely Naomi with the golden heart was declared brain dead by the doctors relying on their precious and costly machines - at 9: 43 in the morning of the 29th of August 2010. Even the name of the Hospital , The Sparrow Hospital, sent cold tremors running down my spine.Sparrows are the worst infected species of birds today. They have meningitis and other maladies to horrible to mention No thanks to us so called humans.

Two months before her untimely death, she had told me that she had seen herself in a dream where she was lying in a coma stuffed with tubes and in unimaginable pain. She kept screaming deep inside her " I can't die, I'll never see my Mother again."

I told her that she was the one dreaming the dream and therefore the creator of it. We project our fears and our hopes into our dreams. In a sense they can be a healthy outlet.

I don't belong to a little sect or cult. I am a Roman Catholic with over two billion believers. After Vatican ll. we now openly consider Anglicans, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Evangelicals, Methodists, Mormons,  Jews, Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus, Buddhists and Parsis as our Brothers in Christ. Indeed, in a spirit of Ecumenism, we have now taken back into the fold 650,000 Anglicans from the Church of England.

Few people have had a send off into the Light as Naomi. Thousands of Buddhists chanted the Ritual of Light. They will do so again tonight .

The most sensitive messages and letters came from my Muslim friends. This does not surprise me. The Quran is filled with exquisite references to the sacrality of Mothers and Women. So does the Church. It elevated the role of women through the Blessed Virgin Mary. 

I ordered a rosary made of pearls for Naomi. She had asked me for one . It was of the Virgin of Lourdes and I was going to send it to her as a birthday present together with the Papal blessing. I have it with me and recite the rosary every night, as I think of her, and all my many Loved Ones who have gone before me.

A brief explanation about the so called Phoenix Heart. First of all it is a Sufi heart. The Sufis are the mystics of Islam. To the Wahabi sect of Saudi Arabia they are considered heretics and fatwas would be issued sentencing them to death.  It is safe to say that there are no Sufis in Saudi-Arabia.  Even in Iran they are persecuted. Many religious scholars including Christian ones believe they existed during the time of the other great Monotheistic religion - Zoroastrianism.  The three wise men, we call them Magi or Maghi in Europe,  came from the Near East - from Persia/Iran following a comet or a star. They were Sufis, Seekers of Knowledge, Keepers of Secrets and followers of Zoroaster. 

The Crusades exposed Christians to many customs and beliefs.The Sufi heart eventually became  the Sacred Heart of Jesus to Christians. The Sufis didn't mind. God was their Beloved. Jesus was God. Where was the problem? There was none.

If you observe the heart, you will see that three wings sprout from both sides of the Heart of Jesus. Six golden wings in all. The Heart burns crimson with fiery love for Humanity. Jesus died for all on the Cross. On the top of the heart is the head of the Phoenix, which rises from the holocaust and its ashes. 

You will also note its similarity to the winged heart of Sufism Reoriented (by Meher Baba):   the path of love.   I enclose a photo of a special ring that illustrates this point:

Now for Naomi's message to me. She knew something awful was about to occur. She must have had unbelievable pain due to the aneurysm. Naomi was prescient. She, my daughter Cinzia and I are the only ones who can "see" events and people. Tears blind me when I think of the trouble she went to to send me this Heart. It is a laborious process in Facebook. I have searched for it high and low in Facebook but I cannot find it. 

Perhaps the fact that someone send it before they were struck down by an aneurysm caused the Executives to remove it. I am considered a public figure. Click on Google or other search engines and you'll find thousands of sites about me,my writings, essays,opinions and stories.    

"Mother, I am taking flight, into the Light." The Phoenix meant that she would live again in a sense because she was an organ donor. I knew it and thought it was a lovely idea. She was aware that I had written a book exposing the trafficking of children's organs called HEART OF DIAMONDS. 

It was a message of Love to me. After all has been said and done, ( good and bad) I was her MOTHER. No one, not even God can change that. Why would God want to? The Rig Vedas would ask. 

My sister, malicious as always, sent me an E card  Naomi supposedly sent her four or five days before her death. In it she confided that she felt she could talk to my sister more easily than she could to me.  I can believe that. I often told her things she did not want to hear. I can understand why Naomi would write such a loving letter to my sister. She probably knew that my sister Carmen NEEDED that kind of love. 

That shows how much my daughter took to heart the words of Jesus:  "Love One Another." 

Never forget that the Heart holds many spaces for Love.

Once again, I must cope with my sister's violation of a confidence. My daughter's revelation was between her and Carmen. 

 "I'm sure Naomi would not mind." 

She cannot presume to know what was on Naomi's mind. 

Why am I mentioning all this? Because I had forgiven my sister for past betrayals of a quasi  slanderous  nature. Naomi wanted Balance and Harmony. She asked me to talk to my sister again. I had forgiven her, what I did not want was to be continuously wounded by her, because when we were children everyone in the world remarked on my beauty and ignored her. Thoughtless and mindless on the part of the adults, including my Father. Criminy that was over 50 years ago.  Get over it. Grow up girl. 


With Naomi's death, old resentments seem to have come to the fore again. I am not going to allow it to disturb me. I have 9 books to publish within a space of 5 years. I have a devoted husband who loves me. I have an 8 year old grandson I am mentoring. A daughter, Cinzia in Genoa, whom  I am cultivating and nurturing. Another daughter, Chiana living a spiritual life and working in India. A son Marco, in London who is a publisher of Children's books and has always looked upon me as a role model - his father and mother image, two more sons in California. Mischa, the eldest and the lovely daughter he has brought up Yahni. My son Buck who writes screen plays. 

As for my two cruel daughters Goneril/Miriam  and Regan/Marlise;  I took you back into my fold for Naomi's sake. Your unloving deeds and words have caused me to cast you away. I shall not cease to love you but never again will you be in a position to hurt me in any way. Karma does not come in the OTHER WORLD, Karma occurs NOW. 

I woud like to add one final word. For all that Naomi suffered she was gifted with an extraordinary sense of wit and humor.  She was a Manic/Depressive (Bi-Polar) or so said the Doctors.  Twenty eight long stays at a psychiatric clinic throughout her life is not my idea of good treatment or even compassion for "the mentally ill" as the Media and many people including her paternal relatives referred to it.  She never saw a good neurologist. Had she come here, that was the first doctor she would have seen. One who holds the Chair of Neurology and also happened to be a good friend. 

When Naomi was 2 years old, she had a fever of a 101, just like that, without any warning. No cold. no infected tonsils.  I  placed ice bags on her head and neck and took her to the base hospital on the island of Guam.  By the time we got to the hospital she was burning against me. and her temperature was 107 and climbing. She convulsed in my arms for 10 minutes without respite.  The Navy doctors filled a bathtub with ice cubes and threw her in it with me supporting her head. Her convulsions continued fpr another 20 to 30 minutes.  Her screams were as ungodly as mine. She stayed in there for over an hour until the fever descended to 101. A doctor prescribed some drops to put her to sleep so that she would not get the convulsions again. "It happens to kids all the time," said the doctor. End of story.  

The aneurysm occurred in her brain stem. I was told by the Head nurse that she probably had it since infancy. 

You are still traveling within the Light Naomi.  I don't think many of us go straight to the Light, the Creator, Paradise,  Heaven as the primitive Christians define it or AGADU, which I prefer. THE GREAT ARCHITECT OF THE UNIVERSE.  We are sinners.  Somehow the sins must be expiated. I am not talking about Purgatory either. 

We should also not refer to Naomi or even to children who die as Angels. Yes, we use the word metaphorically. Angels are different from humans. God deliberately created them differently to look after Man. 

Thank you humbly for having chosen me as your Mother, Naomi.  I thank your Guardian Angel Gayel for having looked after you especially when you were suffering. 

To honor Naomi, I am planning to create a non-profit foundation for those afflicted like Naomi. The word mentally ill will never appear. I detest the word and it says and means nothing. It is time to climb out of the snake pit! An enlightened, highly compassionate , and civilized country will be the site of the Hildegarde von Bingen Foundation for Unique Individuals. Why Hldegarde? Because Naomi loved her.

"After the Virgin Mary, there is Hildegarde von Bingen," she told me  when she knew I was giving a lecture and a 90 minute Power Point Presentation on her. 




Thursday, September 9, 2010


This is only one of several versions in which I have depicted Naomi two years before her untimely death.  The angel who is Naomi, is holding a cup which is bitter and sweet, as was her life and all our lives. The golden clasp on the high collar of her cape is a Sufi heart which could also represent the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The purple cape is because through the Von Vacani, de Latorre, Suarez, and Infanzones line she was a  noble and aristocrat in her maternal bloodlines. The  royal blue wings signify that she is One with the Archangel Raphael who is holder of the healing powers more than any other. Both the turquoise blue and the emerald green gown underneath mean Hildegarde von Bingen's  TERRA VIRIDISSIMA. VERGINE MARIA VIRIDISSIMA. Green Earth and Our Blessed Lady of Green , Protector of the Environment.
Naomi was diagnosed by countless doctors, each simply following/parroting the previous diagnoses as a "Manic Depressive" or to use the euphemism today - Bi-Polar.

 I do not believe she was so. Despite spending half her life in and out of these borderline snake pits in the United States. Reason? She wanted to change her medication, from the toxic Lithium, Trileptol, and other venomous stuff. She was the only one I know, and I have known and know hundreds afflicted with bi-polarity who spent so much time in these ungodly and cruel places. 

To me and many SPIRITUAL people, mind you I stress the word SPIRITUAL and not RELIGIOUS, she was a MAST. I will continue to say and think that. My family and clan, those who are spiritual believe this to be true.

What is a MAST?  According to Hindu, Buddhist and Ancient Catholics teachings, a MAST is an angel on earth who for reasons known only to God takes on a physical aspect. BECAUSE THEY ARE IN A HIGHER PLANE THAT THE REST OF US, many things they would do, like Naomi drawing an angel on a sidewalk in Grand Ledge Michigan would be considered by lesser, inferior and  not at all spiritual beings as "mad" or "crazy"  and they would call the Police. Such people have no hearts and no souls. They are what i have coined "church going automatons, and "robotic reciters of prayers." Her father and sisters who have loved her without a doubt on this lesser, physical plane did not understand this and thought that by calling the Police and "convincing" Naomi to sign papers so that she could be"properly treated"  she could be stabilized. But she was never stabilized in a few days as the laws require in America and in Europe. 

She would be locked in there for months on end. There were times when I had to appeal to Higher authorities in Washington to even find out where she was being held.
I am glad that she listened to me when I implored her to NEVER, NEVER, NEVER name a guardian. She would have exposed  herself to all kinds of reprehensible and evil things.

On the day she had the aneurysm which caused her to drop her body, I received a Phoenix heart from our Angel Naomi. The truth is that in our  technological age, you can say "God Damn" "Fuck" and so on BUT  the word JESUS and GOD is anathema. Christmas is an abomination. Happy Holidays are in.
This Phoenix heart is more properly called a Sufi heart . It also resembles the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The heart blazes with the love for the Beloved (GOD) the golden wings on each side of the scarlet heart mean they are taking fight. I interpreted that to mean she was leaving (dying in one plane) .

As far as I know, she only sent one -  to me, "I am leaving you Mother," she said.

The Phoenix reposing on top of the heart signified that she would rise from the ashes because the soul is eternal and because she was giving life to at least 6 or 7  people through the donation of her major organs.

On the day she was declared brain dead,  I meditated and recited the Pater Noster and Ave Maria of Hildegarde von Bingen whom she loved as much as the Virgin Mary. As I sat and prayed in silence with my eyes closed, I saw a child dressed in an exquisite yellow dress I had designed for her when she was a year old, wearing the Cross I designed for her, encrusted with real pearls from Bahrain (a gift from my best friend Merlina) over her neck. Both her eyes and her dimples shone. The image lasted but a few seconds. Enough to tell me that she was happy at last and not to grieve for her too much.

A dearly loved Muslim friend, writer  and intellectual wrote me the following which I have translated into English." A Mother's feet touches Paradise. When a child dies (infant, child, young or even mature) it becomes one of the vast army of angels guarding the portals of Paradise. The child born of her womb in Paradise, intercedes to God who, in His benevolence erases  ALL her sins which she has committed on Earth."

That is what The Holy Quran says. 

This means that in front of GOD and of all Mortals, THERE IS NO GREATER DOULEUR / PAIN THAN THE LOSS OF A CHILD.

To lose a Father, Mother, Husband, Sister and Brother is not the same as the immense, terrible and irreparable absence of one's child until we met again on the divine plane or in another dimension.

Maria Isabel Suarez vonVacani von Fechtmann